illusionist junZ

2011-07-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

Date Taken: Cannot remember

2011-07-21T16:38:00.000-07:00

35 and 93 days to someone's big and extremely big day respectively ~

Jiayou jiayou!!!

You are heavily supported by me :D

"Stop putting too much hope on the impossible"

-Zen Chris

2011-07-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

I'm blogging ~ for who? Hahas! Let's say it's for some small little girl who might be reading this now :D

And i found a nice little quote to publish too!

Missing you isn't the hardest part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart.

By: Zack :P

2011-05-30T12:35:00.001-07:00

Hahas, fml sia ~~~

To think I was trying to get to talk to you

But nothing seems to work anymore eh?

Is it still true that if someone love you, she won't let you wait so long?

I wish I will never have to stop loving you

But but but ...

Hais ~

This blog seems to be present to those who are advertising now

And to seems that there are no others who bother ;'(

2011-04-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's been quite some time since we talk eh ~

And honestly you are fading from my memory ...

But I bet my heart will pound again when I see you back in school

But then ... something seems not right for me

Although I don't know what but I will remember what you said

"I am just not prepared for a relationship yet."

2011-03-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

Hais ~~~

Guess I shouldn't change so soon eh ...

Maybe the time wasn't right or I wasn't prepared?

Feels like I can't find anything to warm the situation ...

But it seems like I'm not the only one

You seems cold about it too ~

Or ...

Another solution - I'm just thinking too much :0

2011-03-05T01:24:00.001-08:00

突然好讨厌自己为别人而转的这个烂世界

2011-03-04T05:26:00.000-08:00

Am I thinking too much?

Or what I'm doing now is affecting your mood?

By trying to send you home or to school, am I irritating you?

By trying to talk to you, do I resemble a pest to you?

By trying to let you know how I feel, am I a hassle to you?

For some reasons which I had no ideas of, I felt like checking out your Facebook pictures.

However, I can't find your profile at all ...

You rejected me once again and again for another patching chance

I know I might have hurt you deeply, much more than what I can imagine of

But I just feel that we aren't over yet, and I will still have another chance received from you ...

Is this too much?

If only you would tell me how you feel, and what you expect from me to make you happy

I might ...

might just do it

2011-02-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

我累了 ~

真的真的累了。。。

真的不可能了吗？

2011-02-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

想哭的时候不哭的话，

笑容也会随之而去的

2011-02-13T07:11:00.000-08:00

I wanted to say this out loud

By doing so it will mean that you still love me ...

And still have feelings for my feelings

But I dare not

Not anymore ...

Time has changed

But then I still have to ask

Are you happy?

2011-02-13T07:02:00.001-08:00

你。。。

现在快乐吗？

不快乐吧？

因为。。。

我很不快乐！！！

2011-02-08T19:35:00.001-08:00

二月八号二零一一年，十一点三十分，

有个小男孩，在巴士站等着一位小女孩，身旁带着两杯刚买的珍珠奶茶，想说给她一个惊喜

小男孩满怀期待，因为在十个月前，他伤了女孩的心

过了漫长的十分钟，女孩出现了，男孩兴奋的向她挥手

不过，女孩看见男孩，掉头走掉

男孩不知所措，发了几分钟的呆才站起来，追向女孩所走的方向

"where are you?" 男孩发了个简讯问女孩

女孩并没回答

男孩到处寻找了十分钟，但不见女孩的身影

"Okay okay. I don't meet you le. You go take bus I swear I won't follow." 男孩无奈的发了这段讯息

毕竟女孩今天有个重要的提案要介绍

又过了十分钟，男孩心想女孩应该上了巴士

丢掉了奶茶，自己也上了一辆刚到的巴士

过了第一个巴士站。。。

过了第二个巴士站，女孩上了和男孩一样的巴士

“不知她有没有看到我。。。”男孩心理期待着

女孩穿着蓝色线条上衣，黑色短裤，配搭一双拖靴

男孩静静的坐在后面，不敢做出任何行动，害怕如果他上前去女孩当面生他气

就这样，过了又一站，五站，十站。。。

就在女孩要下车的前一站，

男孩下车了

心里酸酸的，眼睛湿湿的。。。

ps.分离了一段时间，又能和你见面

这又是缘分还是巧合？

2011-01-30T04:15:00.001-08:00

Sleep sleep sleep ~~~
Realize that sleeping can really help me in thinking through everything ~
While struggling with RWPS project with you in my head
What a ____ ...
And ~~~
What i don't understand and need your enlightment is actually this messege:
Me - "(: and I still love you (:"
You - "Nope.. Just that I don't want to be in a relationship"
Hmm ...
Does that means you love me still. But just don't want to get together with me yet?
Hahas. Hope i'm not thinking too much :P

2011-01-25T06:53:00.001-08:00

How should i continue ~~~
I have no confidence of doing so actually
She's not taking any move at all ...
And my actions doesn't seem to have any effect
I seriously have no idea as to continue waiting or let go?
We broke up on 13 March 2010
We got together on 18 July 2009
It's now 25 January 2011
If only we were still together
Won't it be half a year more to a 2 years annivessary?
But it's also 47 days to one year from the date we broke up ...
Argh ....
What should I do?
Any comments? If only you will comment ....

2010-12-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

Will you blame me if I fall into another relationship?

2010-11-09T05:02:00.000-08:00

It's been roughly 7 months since we parted ...

My friend critisized me today - "Aren't you looking for someone to nag and take care of you?"

Holy ... Didn't it reminds me much ...

I realize I was really having this feeling of being taken care of.

But when I was around with you, the need to be taken care of changed to the urge to take care of you.

I really regret saying those words out at that point of time, those hurting words and remarks.

Time spent with you wasn't a waste at all. The near 8 months spent with you is the first time i felt being loved.

If time is to rewind itself and goes back another 8 months ...

I promise

I will cherish.

I hope

You still believe in my promise and would give me another chance.

Remember this photo? I never delete it.

Everything that happen to us when we were together. I will never allow any of it to disappear.

Will you give me another chance to get together and prove to you what I mean?

2010-05-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

i'm growing used to being alone again ...
once again
have this urge to get back together
but it will be impossible unless one of us start the talking ...
don't feel good anywhere and everywhere
can't find the feeling i want anymore
where's the feel of satisfaction when i need it ...
was thinking
if only SP had an "Emo Club"
maybe i can join?
find this song quite nice
By2 - 我知道

2010-05-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

seems like it's another restless day where i don'tt feel like sleeping!
but feeling damn tired ...
feel like doing things i have done before and miss doing it ...
argh!
going crazy XD
kindergarden photos are getting popular nowadays XD
anyway what do you think about 2nd chances? XD

2010-05-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

someday ...
if i ever fall into a coma or a deep sleep
don't wept
don't bother to wake me up
cause this is how it's supposed to be

2010-05-07T05:42:00.001-07:00

it feels good to face you in the face again
it's heart-warming to see you smile in front of me
it's nice to see you happy
but there's some sadness in this happiness
today was funny
wanted to send you home
but too bad ~
wanna messege you
but too bad ~
seems like i need more time than you
relax
and smile XD

2010-05-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

快一个月了
会不会想我
会不会讨厌我
会不会。。。

2010-05-01T00:08:00.000-07:00

自欺欺人

傅:就算忍方:守得了秘密还不安心
方:原谅我傅:不懂得再怎么扮幸运
傅:原谅我方:我顾虑成罪人
傅:毕竟总有恻隐
方:知感情完了扮未发生
傅:想开口又沉默想分手又难受
傅:终于都欺骗你欺骗我感受
方:还道歉说我会补救
傅:怎退后方:对你说谎表演够不够
傅:这次方:又再骗你一次
傅:何不狠心一试
方:太害怕令你变得寂寞
方:每一次都装出我好意
傅:担心得我一个呆坐到六时
方:别妄想你都讲过傅:你都讲过
方:别懒惰要说清楚
傅:看我们正对峙
傅:懦弱地逃避了事敷衍都算关注
方:潇洒点结束不等于自私
合:分开方可各自开始
[03:19.50]
傅:不想等是时候不想拖是时候
傅:真不想欺骗你欺骗我感受
方:诚实说我爱你不够
傅:想退后方:爱到这刻只得责任
傅:不想占有
傅:这次方:又再骗我一次
方:太害怕害我变得寂寞
方:我想试始终不敢乱试
傅:担心得你一个呆坐到六时
方:我为何怕事
傅:没法拖手方:这次
傅:就要挥手方:这次我曾发誓对你好
方:愿做你好友减低一点内疚
傅:真心话我跟你无谓再逗留
傅:既决定了告辞别冒昧来电救治
傅:请收起你心意
合:不必假装血流不止
傅:不要方:又再诈骗不要
傅:情深款款
合:不要留下次处置

2010-04-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

one 74, i got up
after one stop, i came down
another 74, you went up
next stop, 154 came after your 74
74 passed with you
i got up 154
behind you for a few stops
then 154 drove past 74
you were behind me for the next few stops
then the 4-sided road came
we went different ways
the end
no ...
there will be another 74 and 154 again right?

2010-04-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

梁静茹 - 会呼吸的痛

在东京铁塔第一次眺望

看灯火模仿坠落的星光

我终於到达但却更悲伤

一个人完成我们的梦想

你总说时间还很多你可以等我

以前我不懂得未必明天就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛

它活在我身上所有角落

哼你爱的歌会痛

看你的信会痛

连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛

它流在血液中来回滚动

后悔不贴心会痛

恨不懂你会痛

想见不能见最痛

没看你脸上张扬过哀伤

那是种多么寂寞的倔强

你拆了城墙让我去流浪

在原地等我把自己捆绑

你没说你也会软弱需要依赖我

我就装不晓得自由移动自我地过

想念是会呼吸的痛

它活在我身上所有角落

哼你爱的歌会痛

看你的信会痛

连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛

它流在血液中来回滚动

后悔不贴心会痛

恨不懂你会痛

想见不能见最痛

我发誓不再说谎了

多爱你就会抱你多紧的

我的微笑都假了

灵魂像飘浮着

你在就好了

我发誓不让你等候

陪你做想做的无论什么

我越来越像贝壳

怕心被人触碰

你回来那就好了

能重来那就好了

2010-04-13T19:41:00.001-07:00

曾经爱过你-郑源 (电话独白)

歌曲:曾经爱过你

词:陈关斌

曲:陈关斌

傻傻的想了很久

却依然想不出分开的理由

你走的时候用沉默代替了分手

是你太残忍还是我太认真

如果爱情可以瞬间忘记

我又何苦那么的爱你

冰冷的空气穿透我的身体

冰冻我的心

你能看到我留在屏幕上的字

却看不到我滴在键盘上的泪

眼泪的滋味好象苦水

我会记着你的好一辈子

为你落下最后一滴泪不再哭泣也

许某天还会笑着想起你写下的日记

都是回忆只希望你可以在你的心里

留下我的身影...

下面是歌曲中一段深情的电话独白

傻傻...(源~~你的短信我收到了...)

却依...(我知道你爱我我知道你对我好)

你走...(可感情是不能因为这些而免强的)

是你...(谢谢你对我的爱我会记住你的好)

(一辈子... ...)

如果爱情可以瞬间忘记

我又何苦那么的爱你

冰冷的空气穿透我的身体

冰冻我的心

你能看到我留在屏幕上的字

却看不到我滴在键盘上的泪眼泪的滋味

好象苦水

我会记着你的好一辈子

为你落下最后一滴泪不再哭泣

也许某天还会笑着想起你写下的日记

都是回忆只希望你可以在你的心里

你能看到我留在屏幕上的字

却看不到我落下的眼泪

它的滋味好象苦水

我会记着你的好一辈子

为你落下最后一滴泪

不再哭泣

也许某天还会笑着想起你

落下的泪滴

是为了你

也为了证明我曾经真的

爱过你

2010-04-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

只牵你的手

作词:林燕岑

作曲:Jae Chong/李玖哲

我的车上会有

你的特别座

我的肩膀是你

专属的枕头

你说西或往东

听你的没错

我家里所有

是你的杰作

虽然你常念很久

还把过去拿来说

那是因为你爱找我懂

有时你会气很久

狠心不跟我联络

也是因为你爱我我懂

闪为你我愿意说

Oh Babe 只牵你的手

就算世界有尽头

Oh Babe 只牵你的手

别怕诱惑邢朦多

只牵你的手

把我放在我心中

牵着我的手

我的车上会有

你的特别座我的肩膀是你

专属的枕头

你说西或往东

听你的没错

我家里所有

是你的杰作

虽然你常念很久

还把过去拿来说

那是因为你爱找我懂

有时你会气很久

狠心不跟我联络

也是因为你爱我我懂

闪为你我愿意说

Oh Babe 只牵你的手

就算世界有尽头

Oh Babe 只牵你的手

别怕诱惑邢朦多

只牵你的手

把我放在我心中

牵着我的手

我给的够不够

你慢慢感受

因为你就是承诺

闪为你我愿意说

Oh Babe 只牵你的手

就算世界有尽头

Oh Babe 只牵你的手

别怕诱惑邢朦多

只牵你的手

把我放在我心中

牵着我的手

2010-04-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

歌曲:猜不透

歌手:丁当

猜不透你最近是好是坏的沉默

我也不想去追问太多

但是他为彼此的戏上了锁

猜不透相处会比分开还寂寞

两个人都只是得过且过

无法感受每次触摸

是真的是热的

如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由

那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口

那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错

我已经不想追求

越是在乎的人越是猜不透

2010-03-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

容祖儿&吴浩康 - 他都不爱我

女:若我难以讨好一个人难道要怪天主作弄人

无论被他怎么吸引都不必再等就算肯

男:若我能够喜欢一个人其实已经珍惜庆幸

能情不自禁纵使不过是一场兴奋仍乐意奋身

女:他都不爱我

男:他虽不爱我

女:难道我毫无骨气张开这耳朵

男:听清楚女:听真他亲口说

合:你别做梦得到好结果

男:他都不爱我女:不算是我错

男:我很清楚合:他未爱我都挂念我

男:谁想他挂念我合:还能期望甚么

还能遗憾甚么就是没结果他都感激我从来期望越多

回头遗憾越多 Wow~

女:若我能够喜欢这个人

男:同样也可将心放在还能爱的人

女:有信心可以爱别人

男:未来也总有人和我热吻

女:一个人同样开心

2010-03-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

不知道这到底是不是对的选择。。。

当了朋友，或许会少了期待

少了期待，或许会少了失望

少了失望，或许会少了烦恼

我们在一起的这几个月里

曾快乐，曾相恋

曾拥抱，曾吻你

曾吵架，曾生气

曾失望，曾放弃

为什么离开你呢？

我也不清楚。。。

或许我不忍心看到你一次又一次的失望，

或许我不忍心看着你为我受到又一次的伤害，

又或许是我太过野蛮，要的太多

又或许我想要的是一个可以二十四小时陪着我的

又或许在我最需要你的时候你不在

又或许我难过时你只会呆在一旁看

太多的或许，太多的借口

我也不知什么是对是错

我曾想，你和我在一起

到底是应为好奇或是相爱？

我也不想这么想

但开头的甜

为什么只能耐那几个月

相爱的话，为什么忍心看着你爱的人坐在大厅的桌上一个人掉泪？

相爱的话，为什么忍心背着你爱的人往前走？

难道安慰一个人，陪陪一个人，抱着一个人

有那么困难吗？

发个短讯的时间都没有吗？

读书要读到完全不见面的那几天吗？

你知不知道当你在不理我的时候我多么寂寞吗？

你知不知道当我终于和你聊天时

你却发我脾气

你知道这对我来说是多么痛苦的感觉吗？

你很好，你可以一个人生活，你可以无视我的存在

你可以不理会我的感受

但是我呢？

我真的真的很想你亲口告诉我你不爱我

每时每刻抱着你还是爱着我

你始终会为我而改

你始终会爱上我

我们始终会回到开始的甜蜜

就连分手的时候我都还在期待

期待的很痛苦

我想说今时今日我依然是爱着你

依然期待着你回来，回来找我

继续我们未了的第八个月

就想说我们能不能够谈一个没有条件的感情呢？

我想听听你的声音

想听听你的想法

你的意见

如何把这感情维持得更好

如果你真的不知，真的不想再想

也告诉我一声好让我彻底死心好吗？

就算做不了情人，我也希望我们能够做永远的好朋友。。。

2010-03-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

what would a perfect couple be like?
first, they must love each other?
second, they must spare a thought for each other?
third, they must change for each other?
fourth, they must accept each other for who they are?
i don't know how to make you happy or sastified
i don't know why can't i fulfill your requests
i don't know why you can ignore me for days
i don't know why you can ignore my messeges
i don't know what you want
i only know you love your friends
your family
your studies
i don't think i deserve any scoldings this time right?
i am not blaming anyone
it's probably my fault for making a wrong choice and pulling you down with me

2010-02-28T04:40:00.000-08:00

those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply

those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire

2010-01-30T05:42:00.000-08:00

darling :(
YZJ cannot take it
YZJ cannot take one moment knowing SSH is angry with YZJ :(
YZJ miss you!!!!!!!!!!
cannot take it
SSH knows YZJ like to do bad things
YZJ knows SSH don't like to do bad things
SSH knows YZJ miss SSH alot
YZJ knows SSH also miss YZJ alot
SSH knows YZJ is jealous of SSH's friends
YZJ knows SSH is also jealous of YZJ's friend
SSH knows YZJ want to carry on this relationship alot
YZJ knows SSH wants to carry on with this relationship alot
SSH knows YZJ got a soft soft heart
YZJ knows SSH got a soft soft stomach :D
SSH knows YZJ inside out
YZJ knows SSH inside out too :)
SSH knows YZJ sux at studies
YZJ knows SSH will coach him in studying
SSH knows YZJ really love SSH
YZJ knows SSH love YZJ alot
<333 ******* me darling :(

2010-01-30T04:53:00.000-08:00

in case i get into trouble with your friends again ....
better make it private to you
darling
i think we should just write our thoughts on this blog and argue with each other
things won't work out on the phone
here in blog
as it's private to the two of us now
we can sort things out and publish only after thinking
i shall go first

okay la...
i am wrong just now
i shouldn't say you took most of your time for your friend and didn't leave any for me
it's not thatt i mind you spending time with your friend
actually i'm just jealous you went to your friends house instead of mine :(
anyway about *bad*ing
i was really into it
its not really that dirty...
i didn't shoot anything anyway ...
everything that went in came out ...
i don't know how to say la ...
maybe you can tell me in your post?

2010-01-19T06:04:00.000-08:00

five months ago, i was happy, believing, full of hope.
five months later, i am left with all bad luck
i know no one is reading this blog anymore except for a few
i hate myself
i lost to myself
eight days ago i broke up with one i thought i can last with
seven days later i lost my wallet
today i board a wrong bus and spend one hour walking home
i wonder what will happen tomorrow
my whole mind was full of you
i want to escape from you but i cannot
i keep tthinking of you
among all
why are you the only one that bring me so much trouble
i changed so much for these
i tried to sastify your every needs
i tried to fulfill all your expectations
today
there was a girl
she told me that during her first relationship she didn't take it seriously too
cause what was in her mind was
there IS somebody after me
i don't have to worry
i don't have to take my first seriously
there will be many more after this
you came in my mind again
did you think the same way as her too
did you really take me seriously
do you still love me when you want to break up with me
do you really want to solve problems when you are talking about them
i don't know anything now
i lost myself
i lost my feelings
i only feel achness in my heart whenever i think of you
i don't think my feelings has changed based on five months ago
but you
you changed
i don't know why
i had never feel like this before
emo-ing hasn't last so long
sadness hasn't lastt so terrible
you are not the one i know five months earlier
seems like i'm really living in the past
its dead
it sux
i wanna shout out
I HATE YOU
but i can't i don't know
i still love you
but it was the five months ago you
i wanna cry
i wanna escape from this realitty
i cannot take it
i cannot stand it
i don't understand
i wanna wait for the you five months before to come back
but it's really gone rightt?

2010-01-13T04:43:00.000-08:00

yo guys!
zhen jun just got ditched :D
guess i deserve it? wahaha
don't know why my heart has this pinching feeling for the first time
spend such an amount of time staring at girls and got ditched!
and i wasn't needed!
heart feel so sour
is this really true?
sometimes i do wonder about my existance in this world
i can do nothing except nothing
is there really someone waiting for me?
hmm ...
life's hard!
and the thought i have to spend how many more decades down the road sucks
hmm ...
lucky i have this computer with this blog to emo with me :D
but i still feel sad ...

2010-01-10T04:57:00.000-08:00

BLOG ~~~
once in a lifetime ...
gonna update my personal life ~
firstly, lets congrates me for getting 2 tuition job :D
total income increased by 2 fold :D
if nothing goes wrong, had expected me and siew hoon to be in genting by december
my birthday of course :D

of course, darling.
recently had loads of fought with you
but you should know i didn't want this too
this relationship may be difficult to walk through
but after what we went through i'm sure we won' let it go so easily
but don't know why tthings seem to get tight these few weeks
many things are changing
i don't know but this will bring a big impact on me
but you won't give up on me right?
neither will i ~~~
love ya for life :*

2009-09-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

i hate it... i have told you the truth.
i have told you everrrything
i have tried my best
i know you are pampered
but i don't like this
i don't want to give in everytime
you should give in at times...
i don't want to keep everything in my heart
i don't want...
i hate it...
i need a night tto cool my head off

2009-09-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

stupid stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid stupid stupid stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

2009-05-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

wanna blog about the interesting stuffs that happened recently.
firstly, yesterday, i went to sttudy and was caught by two little kids to go Bugis.
moreover, i had an urgent need for the gents but i was FORCED to go to the toilet a Bugis!!!
and the better part, when i was in the toilet at Bugis, this little kid came beside me and he sort of missed and kana my leg!!!
omg!!! i curse lor! and everyone was looking at me and the kid just walk away!!!
how could he! end up soaking my leg in dettol... will remember to kill the kid next time i see him...
so far... don't feel like sleeping tonight... gott loads of work to do and loads of troubles to sort...
TT i really dunno how to enjoy life lor... anyway i think i have to pick this little girl up tmr.
wonder if she knows? hahas. xiao mei mei, if you see this and wants me to pick you up, message me ^^ i still want my small brother one okay?
hahas. so far! if i'm still awake maybe wil blog again ^^

2009-04-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

最近出去，聊了很多话题...也慢慢的了解了根多人生中的道理。
感觉上自己在这前几年里并非白白的度过...
第一次感觉到人生的道理，也是第一次领悟到生活的意义。
不说道理了~我都要睡了...
女人呀~女人呀~买了一个项链给你...又把部落各改成华文让你读...
你却好像可以上网后就没有过来看了...
好伤感哟！还有啊...说不嫉妒，不建议，但看到街上的情人我还是...
再说...你店里几时才请人呀？我想见你想得...快受不了了TT
再说啊...再看不到你...我就去找别的女生看咯~
哈哈，好吧！就写到这里了。改天来看我的部落各记得留言哟！

2009-04-14T09:12:00.000-07:00

hey! went for orientation today. games and craps.
hahas, they chose me as the chairperson ^^
wonder i undertake such a job?
anyway this is my present class blog - http://class-of-twentyone.blogspot.com/
hope no one come create trouble for me ~
these three years must be as peaceful as poosible...
anyway wonder hows my old classmates doing now...
lazy blog le... hope more friendly ppl come here chat and crap ^^

2009-04-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

不知何时开始，我喜欢上单独一个人过世界。今天出去才发现，新加坡与我记忆中有着巨大的改变。才发现有好多地方我没去过，好多东西我没看过。
还有好多美女没追过。
不过今天也发现我还是喜欢孤独一个人过日子。世界的潮流与大众的脚步感觉上让我喘不过气。
奇怪的是看到街上有情人手牵手，互相拥抱，我还是会想到你。
或许真的给他说中了，或许我真过于的渴望爱情了。
现在对于你，我知道我们不可能成为正当的情人，但又很矛盾。
距离遥远只是一个小问题，周围身旁的人才是最大的障碍。
虽然你说你不建议年龄小过你，但你的语气却出卖了你。
我猜想在哪一天，我因该也会变成你那个朋友。
擦身而过时，第一时间不是打声招呼，而是以陌生人的态度对待对方了。

2009-04-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

今天没聊到太多啦，只知道你今天为了明天的事在烦。
没办法咯！只好硬着头皮快快乐乐的陪你聊天=p
其实我是有很多东西想告诉你的。不过，我不应该这么做。
再说我也说不出口啦~今天你也没用电脑嘛。
不知道何时何日我会变成你那多年不见的朋友，以一样的命运被踢出局？
哈哈，其实最近真的想了好多好多。
也差不多想通了。再说，开学了，我也不敢轻易许下任何陈诺啦。
开学后，我完全想象不到我会遇到这么样的人。会不会改变呢？
不过就算变了，我和你这几个月我不会忘也不会变。因为太美好了。
有人告诉我我是你路过的小草，不是你寻找的那棵大树。
也有人说我只能当你的救生圈，却不能够教会你游泳。
哈哈，我现在一定很可笑。不过，我会告诉他们我不见意。
小草有变大树的一天。救生圈也有教会别人学会游泳的一天。
只是或许你不是那个人。反正你的大树都找到了，我也不用担心太多嘛~
哈哈，没事了，无聊才来写写这日记的。
大家可别为我想太多哟！因为我已经很清楚我在干吗了。
晚安，各位读我的部落各的朋友们 ^^

2009-04-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

哎呀呀，最近为了一个人把整个部落各改成华文了。希望那个人知道我的一片苦心。
嘿，这个人呀，笨笨的，不过傻的可爱。每次叫我不要想太多，自己却想的比我还多。
答应我的事好像忘得一干二净了，傻瓜，记得你答应我的两件事呀！
我可不想天天提醒你呢！答应你的我都做到了，你却不守信用，我好难过哟~
我不知道你和我能维持多久，不过我相信你不会伤害他，更加不会放弃他，对吧？
还有啊，过去的事别想太多，时间是不等人的，现在要做的是忘记过去，追随未来。
你呀，每次想些有的没的，小心哪天变成了老太婆，认不出你呢！
这次就写到这里哟！希望你能够读到我的一片好意?
对了，歌我也要换了。放个你为我找的歌吧x))

2008-12-22T04:35:00.000-08:00

2008-12-22T04:31:00.000-08:00

All these are... cakes ^^

2008-12-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

2008-12-04T22:05:00.000-08:00

at least he's honest

serve cold...

make it look like accident

place where robbers shop

2008-11-19T16:17:00.001-08:00

say...i'm going back to malyasia today le...
dunno if i will have the chance to continue blogging though now also not a regular blogger la
i will miss someone the most~thats my YP ^^
guess everyone knows whose that le bah :P
dunno if she will miss me anot?
darling when i'm gone to malaysia...
if you miss me,
hint me and i will contact you
if you are troubled,
tell me and i will write you
if you are sick,
notify me and i will come find you
if you feel unhappy,
show me and i will cheer you
if there's anything wrong,
tag me and i will call you
girl...don't forget to add me at yongzhenjun@hotmail.com
although this two months i won't be able to stay by your side,
but my heart will. you said that two months will pass very fast and i will believe it.
by the time i return s'pore, i think that you will still be waiting for me
i hope that you will leave a space in your heart just for me.
though these period of time i had not received any confirmation from you
i still think that you like me after all.
darling, i hope that you can proved that i'm right
although the time we had known each other is short,
but i had seriously fall in love with you,
i dunno what you think but this is how i feel
i just hope that we can maintain contact in this short two months
darling, i love you and will continue to love.

2008-11-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

aiyaya~~~going back to malaysia le...
feel so sad sia...cause will be leaving my girl for quite long sia
though she say time will pass very fast.
but i will still remain lonely

2008-11-05T15:50:00.000-08:00

aiyaya ~~~ very long never blog le...
i also got new girl girl le ^^
somemore now i love this girl alots ^^
i wanna keep her voice just for my ears
i wanna keep her face just for my kiss
i wanna keep her eyes just for my look
thats how much it is...
going back to malaysia soon...
really dun wanna go back cos its really the first time
i dun wanna leave something that is in singapore...
i am going to miss you alot!!!
last of all... for my darling... muacks! ^^

2008-09-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

想要的东西要学会去争取
可学会了争取也得学会放弃
现在的我已太晚学会争取了
但我一定要放弃吗？
在别人的眼里
她 - 并不体贴
她 - 并不好看
她 - 脾气暴噪
她 - 性格顽固
但我就是喜欢她

现在，经过了一次有一次的错责，批评
我发现我们两生活在两个完全不一样的世界里
我没有能力近入她的世界
同样的，她也不让我近入她的世界
但她以近入了我的世界
我曾想过在她眼里，
我是不是只有被利用的价值
需要时，她会来找我
不需要时，她不会让我找到她

再过几个月就毕业了，或许我该开始放下她了
回到我十几年的寂寞里
这次，或许是我人生的另一个开始。。。。

2008-09-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

today at school very quiet....
dunno why but not quite used to iteems like was used to the chattings.
anyway was studying in school today. till 8 plus just like everybody.
sometimes wonder if its really effective for me to study at school?
anyway, i finally found someone that i can share my thoughts with ^^
i really felt so much better now. being able to tel others your thoughts and having another person to think with you.
dunno what to do with my feelings now... so conslusion is i jus concentrate on my studies now.
cos i was told dat i might be hopeless in sth, i dunno if i should give it up now...
though what the person said really made sense, i still cant really absorb everything he said...
maybe i will leave dis after Os...
and i'm sure the situation will worsen a few folds by then.
actually i'm quite scared of the period after Os,
cos it will be this time where i am seperated with my sec friends.
might be lonely might be not.
i dunno and am scared to think.
so far*

2008-08-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

aiyaya... reading my past few posts... why a bit sounds like a friend of mine sia?
somemore this "friend" is not someone i like sia
worst thing is i know the ending of the story of this "friend" of mine...
bit scary sia... dun wanna end up the same way... its too pathetic...
btw, did i said i like someone before? guessed i gave the wrong impression then...
causing so much troubles now sia... and it got worst when -
i know she know i like her but she dunno that i know she know i like her...
"like"? is dat de word suitable? dunno leh...
recently, some old uncle told me that characters like mine dun need any "love"
what i need is a friend that you can open up to and that helps you.
and i was thinking... is he talking bout doraemon?
how could there be someone in the world who can really help you?
dun u still have to rely on yourself in the end?
but his words does make sense to a certain point...
but as far as my general knowledge tells me - blah blah blah
and... i got one more question sia...
can friendship subsitute kinship?
if only it can... cos i dun like my family one bit...
everyone thought they understand me the best...
hey daughts... not talking bout u all hor...
i love my daughts ^^ mAyBe cos they are cute ^^
and sad thing is it only during this year i started enjoying school
when it was about to end... i then realize how i wasted three years again...
TT not fair... why dun they let us work when we are young to mature us?
den let us enjoy our childhood when we are matured?
dun they think that a childhood is too tough a memory to keep when its full of rubbish?
mine was full of questions and i dun think anyone would be able to solve them for me
kay la... back to uncle's words... i will start to forget (only on the surface) and search ( on the surface too)
then i will try and it might turn out differently or... will it?

2008-08-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

这样的日子也已过了两年了。从天真无知的我 (假的ok?)，也开始从不管他人的态度中改变得。。。喜欢与喜爱。。。虽然只有着那一字之差。。。但那字的差别实在太大了。。。
而愚蠢的我既把它二混为一，这果然不是一般的白痴会做的事吧？起初那么乐观的感觉跑到哪里去了？那不顾一切，只为自己而活的自私鬼如今为何会为感情而烦呢？
如今的我也没想那么多了，如有遗憾，那也过去那胆小的我害的。现在的我也不知如何是好。
如我走进那磁铁中间，也只会被夹伤吧。。。
现在谈谈某某人的帅气吧。：)
他又有何条件让任何人为他而受伤呢？
只不过是长得有点帅吗。。。说话也只是好听了点。。。
就这样吧？这种帅哥直得任何人为他流泪吗？而这没大脑的衰哥既在不知不觉中另无数的人为他流了不知多少滴眼泪了。。。
糟。。。变得有点自夸了？哈哈！
从小的我开使就不大会表达=自己的表情。。。或许是因为小时太过依赖外婆的关系吧？也不知该从何说起。。。算了！以后再讲吧^^

现在是半夜三点三十分二十八秒。
祝你有个美梦^^

2008-08-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

hais... after problems come de ideology of doubts
now i dunno what is the meaning of "feelings"
how people develop feelings and what does this word means?
"do you really have any feelings for me?"
what meaning does this sentence contains then?
its been a few years since i experience heart-beats, stomach flops and feel nervous
on the way home few days back home... i heard this auntie say :
"you want stay with your friends or you want to come home with me?"
its sounds like a total threat to me... so putting family in the first place allows your rights to make friends to be taken away?
i once said to my friend... though i copied it from a book... "adapt to it naturely"
but it seems that i end up being trapped in my own life...
jus as i thought i had everything in control... a minor obstacle was all it need to disrupt my plans.
perhaps due to my lack of sense of family... i am losing the sense to judge between family and friends.
maybe i have been craving for a kinship after all...
hais... really dunno la... maybe its really impossible to find someone dat really understand you well...
though that will double the difficulty when you don't want to open up to people...

2008-08-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

yea! i come to post le ^^ after such a long time le ^^
okay... maybe i post only when i have probs?
kay... got a few probs nowadays... wanna ask bout ur thoughts
1) issit alright to fall in sth with sth dat u should not?
2) issit okay to break friendship for sth u like?
3) issit okay to tolerate even when others got de wrong thoughts?
4) issit safe to put too much into any sort of feelings?
5) issit logical to do sth even if we know we should not?
6) issit okay to do sth dat u enjoy but hurt everyone around you?
7) issit okay to take initiative?
8) issit alright to neglect others feelings even when it shows obviously?

anyway today went out study... wif green apple, polar bear, mushroom, cork and rock ^^
i love giving nicks now ^^
damn bored... cant study much... recently dunno why no mood... (dats a bad excuse, i know dat)
irritated over dis and dat...
like they say... so far so bad!

2008-07-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

...dunno why suddenly feel all burning inside...
too much happen and i dunno how to handle...
someone told me about his thoughts on me
"You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you. "
sounds chim huh?
and den got dis irritating pest on my mind too...
i dunno what de hell is "it" thinking and i dunno what "it" want.
its like "it" has taken things to go her way even before "it" give me de time to reject
de way she write is like i'm in her hands!
really dunno what to do sia...
been trying my best to avoid her but worst thing is my siblings thought she my what? also den treat like friend liddis...
its like... fu*k la...
dun they know one mistake leads to another and one wrpng impression will huant you for life?
and worst thing is she's making herself sound so pitiful...
alamak...wads wrong wif me...talk bad bout others...
nvm...jus to let everyone know i being "fruited" so pardon me if my temper got bad
nth le bah...gotta go study again...gotta do A-maths...gonna die soon...

2008-07-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

yoyo! another few weeks nvr update blog le...
found dat i update it oni when i feel very bored...
today went out study wif "peck and su" shan at kfc der.
cold cold sia...
anyway today was quite of an accomplishment. studied a-maths but solved jus a few questions...
cos nobody pei me study bah so maybe no mood...
now i was jus hopin dat i can go back to sec three end-of-year...
it was supposed to be an enjoyable time for everyone but i did not enjoy it at all...
guessed i spent so much of a three years in mjr slackin too long.
and wads my current conditions?
a-maths -- aiming for A1
e-maths -- aiming for A1
poa -- aiming for A1
chinese -- hoping for A1
english -- aiming for at least B3
humanities -- aiming for a CMI
sciences -- no specific target yet...
wif these aims above... i think i can go back to sleep sia...
dreaming might help me achieve these dreams but not reality i think
anyway i introduce ppl to this place http://www.funeducation.com/
go test ur iq ^^ mine's 125 ^^

2008-07-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

today...my pride kana insulted...why?
easy. cause i studied for dat stupid chem test and end up hearing de question "you got cheat anot?"
wow~seems so easy to beat my pride...i welcome all dick-chers to do dat once again.
actually oso not study...jus dat for de same notes i copied over and over again...dats why i remembered...nvm...spend so much time explaining for wad...
been studyin like "O" is tml for everyday and dis is wad i get...
life has not been goin well for de past few days too...
i really dunno wad i wan sia...
someone kindly enlighten me...i will be grateful for life...

2008-06-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

wow...as the days went by...realized dat i was getting lesser and lesser sleep.
hahas...jus as last night, used de com for dunno how long den doze oof for one hour olus den wake up feel like usin again TT
no self-control sia
dis continues...dunno when can i finish my school-work.
anyway...maybe i will stop now den. later go chiong hw bah ^^
but den...it shouldn't be much of a success
and de worst worst thing is i ran out of condensed milk and sugar!!!
and de only thing u had in my cupboards are coffee and milo powder. de rest are cold beverages...
jus as i need a hot drink...no milk...at de same time...lazy go out buy....
waitin for someone to walk by my house now ^^
lets set sth for myself : by today...gotta finish maths, ss, eng, chem,
den tml will chiong poa
see? so organized ^^ but dun think i will have de discipline to do it...
hahas...heck-care la...now is "walk-one-step-count-one-step" ^^

2008-06-16T00:50:00.000-07:00

recently while working to improve my studies...i realized one thing
one thing so plain yet complicated. i dunno wads going on.
and dat one single thing is...friends
where are my friends? where are those guys whom chatted with me and where are those ppl dat once were so kind to me?
why issit such dat i seems so invisible to my classmates, such a pain in my teacher's eyes, and so much of a burden to everyone?
though i liked dis once...havin all de world to myself...learning to enjoy my own life without friends...but i just cant really take everything onto myself...
this year...i learnt alot. more than i should. more than wad i can take in. but then...issit enough?
while experiencing happiness...sorrow clashes with it at the same time
while experiencing freedom...i end up wasting my time
while experiencing friendships...i lost what faith others had for me
hahas...does a person like me not deserve any fun?
to be happy in my life, must i have to trade everything i have for it?
but thinking back...why did all these happened? have i done sth wrong incidentally that causes the loss of my friends?
issit some behaviour of mine that causes my friends to hate me?
hais...in the present moment...i study for the sake of studying
nth else. no more purpose in my life le bah.

till then.....

2008-06-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

hey guys! been slacking in blog these few days...
main reason was because i was...studying!!!
amazing huh?
recently attended this tuition by my grand-uncle and the amount of work he gave me...was HUGE!!!
but he teach good la...cos i understand a-maths more now and i got faith to pass some test now ^^
was trying to study other subjects too but end up sleeping on the topic...
watchin dis korean show during brraks interval. was nice! like GTO sia.
anyway tml is dunno got a-maths or dat eng course de...gonna die...
and these few days keep on kana perstered.
woah...how irritating can things get?!

2008-06-08T06:17:00.000-07:00

bored bored...nth to do...
sian sian...no-one to chat with...
since so bored...try try to stop for one week?
hahas...lets all make a bet ^^ anyone who read dis haf my promise ^^
den again...who will be readin dis?
hais...

one week is long...what should i do?

2008-06-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

hais....feeling so empty today...
morning went to pray to ah gong. so hot sia -- burning the offerings...
ytd cousin come ton. and i end up maria...
cooking, washing and cleaning...
den on the phone with a stressed-up cutie till 4 plus den sleep.
jus now even better sia. end up dustbin. was...wow~
stomach gonna burst...
den jus now go buy thing...sis says i damn emo. say i damn quiet
den when watchin movie she suan me again...
say watch with me very bored cos i keep quiet all de way TT
for dis particular day i was suan-ed dunno how many times le...
dunno leh...maybe realli emo bah. anyway jiayuan will be leaving s'pore today...
anybody wanna wish her "bon-voyage" wif me?
hahas...so...

wish you have a safe trip...keep all your worries aside...enjoy hor...thats a MUST!!!

2008-06-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

today was...fun? or wassit bored? no idea...
just know that morning went playin bball wif ming and darren.
cos feeling bored...so bought a packet ><
then reach home round 12 then went to sleep.
went for tuition during evening and professer's dog was sooooo cute!
he understood every command even knew to beg for a biscuit!
funny thing is when i reach home after that...bathing round 12 plus.
got attracted by the mirror and end up looking myself and smiling to myself.
guess i getting a bit crazy...tears end up being laughters...
mocking at my own foolishness.
bit cannot think after that and soon doze off to sleep.
woke up now at 3 plus and cant get back to sleep...
haiz. crazy award might be going to me?

having alot on my mind now...

2008-06-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

finally! i'm not the one bein late today ^^
today was early and met anna on the way to school.
spent round 50 minutes waiting and goin to school only to attend a
"run-away-from-school" lesson. then went library slack. doin chem.
hmm...to think of it...my brother seems to be abducted by alien bee~
hahas...anyway was planning to eat spahgetti for lunch but was foiled up TT
there goes my lunch. no thanks to my rumbling stomach...
then went home slack...tired out...
sleeping from 4 to 7. then eat. then sleep again from 8 to 10.
best is when i woke up. was feeling weak so held on to the table
suddenly the lights went flashing
i was like...stunned...look up at the lights...then look at the door...then at the light...
and i'm out of the room. hahas...maid saw me running ask me what happened.
totally stunned at that time...in the end spent the night enduring laughters TT
btw why no-one tag me de? so sad TT or maybe thats just usual?
since i'm boring everyone...guess i should add spices too...sometimes...

2008-06-04T06:54:00.000-07:00

whew...
recreated a blog. hope it brings more entertain then last time one.
hope no freaking teachers is looking at this blog.
anyway today was....dunno leh...sian?
woke up at 8 to find that i'm late meeting hoi...
gotta chiong all the way to reach only at 8.45?
then attend chem to find it so bored.
then went s'pore poly for that open house.
saw a...ghost? hazz
went actually goin when sth crop up and in the end i had to stay...
went to the engineering course. lecturer was cute.
janet and i came to one conclusion too. all physics teacher are a bit emo
and eccentric.
after went for the aerospace and that dream house. sensor-operated.
cool~was totally absorbed into it. dream house...my dream too! except it lack one thing...
anyway~day is long and think i'm boring everyone? haazzz

hope everything will refresh and gimme another chance